Well everyone has heard of the running of the bull. Well I have a short but wonderful story about an evil, black, stinky, big balled goat named George. Well, George was the weirdest animal on the face of the earth. I think he was once a fire Hadrian in his past life because the little dude had a pissing problem. Picture George 2 foot tall 4 foot wide long black hair and evil. We had a garden next to our trailer when I was young and this garden had a 30 amp electric fence around the whole thing to specifically keep out goats and other things that were vegetarians. Well, to rewind a second the background of George is as follows our driveway was over a hundred yards long. Every single day this bastard of a goat would be in my path all the way to the door. As I would get off the bus in fear that door would close in a noisy slow motion sense. Dust would fly from the drive and my life became hell instantly creating a soon to be heart attack for an 8 year old. As the dust settles I would check the mail in our black and bright green mailbox usually containing sweepstakes and donut coupons to places that me and my family would never go. I throw my back pack up high and tight and strap in for a ride here we go.....

George, the goat would see me leap for freedom as I ran up the driveway planning of how to survive his tackle and wonderful line-backer skills to reach my goal...THE BACK DOOR! This goat was extreme, he would head bunt a human being like a ram in the mountains full blast trying to kill you. Getting closer to George and the backdoor George would launch up onto his hind legs like hiyo friggin silver whiteboy. Finding myself everyday in this amazing turn of events I was scared to death of dying from this 2 foot tall goat. I pictured constantly being knocked down and this Clint Beastwood goat would instead of spitting on my forehead, dropping round pellets of old dissected grass upon me showing he was the ruler of the earth.

Continuing my struggle I would run as fast as a fat kid could crawl and make it to the back door and up the steps, reaching into my bag to grab the keys...I dropped them off the back porch 4 feet below me. As I stare at George running like a cheetah in my direction he runs up the stairs, again jumping up on his hind legs and instantly ramming me into the wall and door like the milk money bully from school. Crying and screaming, I found myself rolling of the porch to the ground to grab my access tools and running like hell to the other side of the mobile home to regain strength thinking of a trick for this goat and S.O.B...Finally I reversed the scene and made George miss his chance but still picking my ass up from the yard like a sissy in a huge red snow suit. I shouted I got you, I GOT YOU.. (Teary Eyed and Pissed!) I plotted vengeance against this midget of hatred.

Want to know what I did with George come back later for the Rest of the story Friday.. Man's Avenue.....